“It’s about being smart, taking your time, keeping your composure, just going out there and being the best that you can be”
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. 🥊
What is Composure?
the state of being or feeling calm and in control of oneself – Oxford Dictionary
How do I remain composed?
Composure is a discipline. You can practice composure in your everyday life but be warned – it’s not always easy! However, the more you practice composure the better you’ll become at remaining calm and unflustered regardless of the situation.
If you’re one of those people that often blames other people or things – you are really going to struggle. The only way you can be fully composed is if you make the choice to become 100% responsible… for yourself.
- You can’t control the weather
- You can’t control other people
- You can’t control the traffic jam when you’re late for work
- You can’t control which numbers get drawn on the lottery
- You can control – YOU!
Self-talk is one of the habits that can help you retain your composure. For instance, when I was a kid I used to hear people say “Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness”. Based on this school of thought – we’re all mad because we all have conversations with ourselves daily.
Examples of Your Daily internal Dialogue:
- “I feel tired this morning”.
- “I’ll check my phone”
- “What do I need to do next?”. “Brush my teeth”
- “Which socks should I wear today?”. “I’ll go for my lucky ones”
How can we use this Self-talk to be more composed?
In short, this is where the discipline comes in. Composure is all about how you deal with all of things that happen in your life, composure is how you react.
Here’s my test to YOU:
Practice self-talk to try and gain more control over your reactions. If you’re driving to work and someone pulls out on you – Don’t TOOT your horn, stick your fingers up, shout and swear or tailgate them. Instead, the way to master this is to immediately ask yourself these questions:
“How am I going to react?”, after that “How would I prefer to react?”
As a result, this method will allow you enough time to react more consciously, which should enable you to choose a better option, remain calm and let it go; putting it down to a driver error. Choose composure. 👍🏼
But I don’t get Road Rage…
The perfect day rarely exists, things don’t always go as you’d like them to – and it’s in these situations that your composure opportunities arise. So start paying attention to your reactions!
Your reactions are one of the ways you show up in the world, moreover they’re a reflection of you as a person – not a reflection on the person or thing you’re aiming them at. By learning to control your reactions you are showing a level of power and competency to the world.
At times you will probably fail to stay composed but the more self-aware you are and the more you make a conscious effort to improve – the better you’ll become.
Finally, I’d love to hear some of your wins and losses, about the specific situations in which you managed to remain calm or you completely lost your head! 🤣
Staying composed will gain you respect from others and will also make you a tougher opponent in any sport.